Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
