If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
