Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
