I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
