I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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