So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
What a dumb baby whore.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
