is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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