one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize