My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
