I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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