Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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