I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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