it hurts more in the daytime
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
