I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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