It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
