Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
