she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
