That's intense
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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