omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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