Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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