So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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