you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
