its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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