i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
