brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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