Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
