So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
