3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
