it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He passed out mid-signature
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
