i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
