Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
