This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
