Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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