I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
