I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i've created a new STD.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
