Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
