shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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