3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
