it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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