I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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