After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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