Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
