See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
