I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
only you would photoshop your dick
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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