Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
