i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
