after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
