Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just googled if crying burns calories
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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