Dual....:-)
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
