Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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