You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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