How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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