accomplished twins. life is a go
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
