More tranny stories later!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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