put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He? As in you personified your dick?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
