You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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