I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
