Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
