Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think i got beer on your cat.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
