i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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