I look better un-naked...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You're like the curious george of whores
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
