508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We left an ass print on the piano.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
